Twas the night before Sherry left when all through Shell Place
Not a creature was stirring, not a mouse in our space
The name tags were hanging by Hanna with care
In hopes that all agencies were registered there
Pavlina was at her desk, working til three
To make sure the right numbers were entered carefully
Maryellen was counting the change into a pan
Just down the hall, was a planning Diane.
When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter
Lindsey sprang into action to see what was the matter.
Away to the window, she flew like a flash
She looked down to see a bag filled with cash.
“Hey Muna” she called, “do you see what I see?”
Muna looked out and then called “Hey, Valerie”
When what to their wondering eyes did appear?
A bald headed man laughing like crazy and drinking a beer.
Now Diane! Now Val! Now Hanna you Swede!
On Muna! On Lindsey! On Jen with great speed
To the bottom of the stairs, to the doors in the hall
Russell seemed drunk and cheering to all
He was dressed all in fur from his head to his heart
And his clothes were all painted from his latest art
A bundle of cash he had flung on his back
And he looked like a canvasser who had just run the track
His eyes how they twinkled, his dimples how merry
The beer in his hand was made of black cherry
The bag full of money now sat close by his side
And he smiled up at all the galls who were standing curb side
He had a broad face and a thin little belly
(cause of Ideal Protein, yoga and delicious red jelly)
The team headed back to the office with cheer
To count the last donations and share Russell’s beer
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
Soon gave them to know they had nothing to dread.
They spoke not a word, but went straight to work
They counted the money and watched Russell smirk
And laying a finger aside of his nose
He told us a story, his own little prose.
I was going home from the office to head off to bed
When a car pulled beside me and I turned my head”
The windows were blackened as dark as the oil
I heard only a voice and began to recoil
The stranger, he said, “You’re that guy who can paint”
I nodded my head and began feeling faint
“I need a picture” he said, “It’s special you see.
I have no gift for me wife for under the tree.”
“I need a new painting,” he began to disparage
“Please Mr. Thomas! Only you can save my marriage.”
So I thought and I pondered and I made my heart still.
“I’ll do it for you…for 1.5 mil”
So I painted a portrait of his wife – it was a biggy,
One swine of a woman; he called her Miss Piggy”
Moments later he hopped on his own private jet
As God as my witness, our Unite Way goal has been met.
And that my dear friends is the tale of the day
Of what happened last night before Sherry’s last day
I won’t be gone far, I’ll just drive out of sight
This isn’t good bye; it’s simply good night.